Covenant Friendship: More Than Convenience
True friendship is not found in convenience but is forged in covenant.
By Pastor Tom Baran – Grace Baptist Church, Bristol, CT
Text: John 15:13–15; 1 Samuel 18:1–4; 1 Samuel 20:12–17, 41–42 (NASB 1995)
Covenant Friendship: More Than Convenience
If there is one thing we know in New England, it is Dunkin. Bristol, CT alone has seven Dunkin’ locations spread across just over twenty-six square miles and a population of about sixty-two thousand. You cannot drive far without passing one. That is who we are, people who love convenience. Fast coffee, fast food, fast everything. But sometimes that same love of convenience bleeds into other areas of life, into our work, our worship, and even our friendships.
We have learned to love convenience more than commitment. Yet Jesus defined friendship differently. In John 15:13–15 (NASB 1995) He said,
“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves… but I have called you friends.”
True friendship, according to Jesus, is not about what I can get but what I can give. It is not a transaction; it is a covenant of love. Perhaps nowhere in Scripture do we see that better than in the friendship between David and Jonathan.
Soul-Knit Loyalty (1 Samuel 18:1-4)
Scripture says that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David” (v. 1). The Hebrew word qāšar means to bind together tightly. Their friendship was not casual or surface level, it was spiritual. Jonathan, the son of King Saul, gave David his robe, his tunic, and even his sword and belt, symbols of royalty and inheritance. In doing so, Jonathan acknowledged God’s call upon David’s life.
Most people in Jonathan’s position would have seen David as a threat and David would have seen Jonathan as a threat. After all, David had just become Israel’s hero. But instead of jealousy, Jonathan and David chose joy. Jonathan rejoiced in his friend’s success because he was more concerned about God’s glory than his own advancement.
As Paul writes in Romans 12:10,
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.”
Covenant friendship rejoices when God blesses another. It is not threatened by the victory of another. In a world obsessed with comparison, covenant friends celebrate the work of God in others. But that kind of loyalty is not truly tested until life gets difficult and the trials arise. Jonathan’s loyalty would soon cost him dearly, yet he never turned away.
Costly Commitment (1 Samuel 20:12-17)
If you think about it, we often have “drive-thru loyalty.” We stay faithful until someone gets our order wrong. Jonathan’s commitment to David was nothing like that. He risked his relationship with his father, King Saul, to keep his word to David.
In verse 14, Jonathan speaks of the “lovingkindness of the Lord,” the Hebrew word ḥesed—a steadfast, covenantal love rooted in faithfulness. Jonathan swore before God to remain loyal to David’s life and legacy.
History gives us other examples of this kind of faithfulness such as William Wilberforce and Henry Thornton, friends who stood together through ridicule to fight the slave trade; Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, whose marriage was grounded in a shared mission to advance the Gospel no matter the cost. Their relationships were not convenient but instead they were costly, all while they advanced the cause of God.
Proverbs 17:17 reminds us,
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Covenant friendship counts the cost, stays the course, and serves the other. Jonathan and David knew their paths would soon part, but their friendship was not rooted in circumstance. It was anchored in God Himself.
God-Anchored Promises (1 Samuel 20:41-42)
We live in a world of short-term promises—mobile, disposable, and easily replaced, just like our Dunkin’ coffee cups. But Jonathan and David’s friendship was anchored in the eternal One. Verse 42 records Jonathan’s words:
“The Lord shall be between you and me, and between my descendants and your descendants forever.”
God Himself was the keeper of their covenant. Years later, after Jonathan’s death, David sought out Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth and showed him kindness “for Jonathan’s sake” (2 Samuel 9:1-7).
That is the mark of covenant friendship: it lasts because it is rooted in the character of God, not the convenience of the moment.
So, we must ask ourselves:
- Do our friendships point us and others toward Jesus Christ or away from Him?
- Do we grow in grace and faith because of our relationships?
As Hebrews 10:24 says,
“Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.”
Friendships anchored in God’s covenant love help us do exactly that.
From Drive-Thru to Devotion
For us, covenant friendship begins at the Cross the place where Christ calls us friends who serve and love.
What relationships in our lives have become one-sided, drive-thru transactions? Christlike relationships are not built in the lane of convenience; they are built at the table He has prepared for us. Jesus laid down His life for us – us His friends. The question is, what will we do with that?
When we truly understand the covenant, in which we live, we cannot help but raise a hallelujah. We can praise God even when it costs us everything, because Christ paid everything for us.
So maybe it is time to trade in “fast friendship” for faith friendship, and to build relationships forged not in convenience but in covenant. Christ hung on the Cross for us; may we stand and lift our voices in praise and worship to Him not because it is easy, but because He is worthy.
Never Forget: True friendship is not found in convenience but is forged in covenant.